A Nice Day for Mom

When I was a young I hated the advice "bloom where you are planted." It sounded like a cop-out or an accuse for lethargy. I have always been on the go. I'm motivated by the idea of a ladder and I always want to climb to the next rung, learn what is waiting around the next corner. I still view this as a positive character trait.

Recently I've tripped over the realization that the more I know, the harder it becomes to grow in holiness. The cornerstone of my personality is adventure and work. The more I find out about people and the wide world the further away heaven and clarity seem to be. How to marry these two things that both seem good?


I think cautiously is the only way to get on. I am thinking of my present time as a bowl to be filled with my very best effort. I want to let go of the desire for success, prestige, possessions, promotion, money, and acknowledgment. I actually believe that if I fully accept this very place I am in as where I am meant to be and use my natural energy to max-out on my tasks, what is meant to be will follow- perhaps more than if I was breaking my back for the future.

They say, "reach for the stars," and they talk about dreaming big dreams A LOT. And I don't think that is bad. But it is heavy, and it does have the potential to distract from the now. I've wasted so much time dreaming of becoming smarter, fitter, and richer. The goal is to look around me and say, "what can I do with what I've got RIGHT NOW?" Being smart, fit, rich, beautiful, white, black, strong, healthy, childless, married, or single, doesn't make me better. Accepting MY portion as what is meant for me alone, and working it to death is what makes me better than I was yesterday.

*Edit: All this to say, don't let your vision and aspiration for the future steal from the goodness of every day.

Election Stress Management

Let us go forward in peace, our eyes upon heaven, the only one goal of our labors.
--St. Therese of Lisieux

I've been thinking and feeling and wondering about Christ's mother staying so silent when she was the one person on earth who knew the most about God. There is almost nothing in Sacred Scripture about her. Her thoughts, opinions, her wisdom are mostly a mystery to us.

Then I have considered that Christ chose to veil Himself from most people. Those who searched for Him found Him. Those who were ready for Him, longed for Him, received Him.

The Mother of God was only taking part in this most frustratingly perfect mystery. She understood how grace was at work: Silently.

Nothing has changed. The Messiah is found only by those who long for the Word, as a deer longs to drink.

This is what I am breathing in as the political mayhem unfolds. I've given the silent treatment to this mess, while trying to show charity to those who haven't taken the same path. VERY few of us are called to be preachers and teachers. We must necessarily tend to our own hearts and minds.

I am taking a page from the Blessed Mother's very thin book, and keeping as much in my heart as possible. This is my part as the Almighty does His work. Amen.

She  who is silent everywhere finds peace.
--St. Teresa Margaret

Giving Freedom for Christmas

There is a pile of toys available on the other side of the room...

...and here she is playing with an old box filled with give-away clothes. You all know its true; the best things in life are free. In short, children have no masks or pretenses and if we are humble enough we can learn from them.

I am already thinking of Christmas and all the cool things I want to buy to make my children happy. But today I am reminded that the human spirit craves simplicity and order and the freedom to explore, more than all the noise and flash and color that we try to dazzle it with.

As time goes on and we drift away from childhood we forget our way home to the things and the people who matter the most.

This holiday season, I am going to focus on the natural beauty of symbolism and provide an atmosphere of peace and simplicity at home. In the end, I don't want to add to anyone's burden of possessions, but give the gift of leaving them alone to discover things for themselves. It isn't easy for mothers to let things be, and I am certain they won't be giving me the same gift. But one can dream.

Learning to be Quiet

I've found blogging to be more challenging than I had anticipated. I can't stop thinking that for my writing to be worth the read I have to have the answers to questions. I HAVE to be helpful to others in some way. My commentary often feels forced.

Honestly, while I want my own limited life experiences to be useful to others, I have also been feeling strongly of the importance of learning to keep silent. When I get to talking there is often a verbal falling-down-hill of sorts and I say things that are not well thought out nor helpful to any situations.

I am acutely aware of how much I have yet to learn and I am nowhere near the person I want to become. You can see my reservations about blogging. I have passions like fitness, family, and my Catholic faith, but as I have so far to go, I am reluctant to comment on even these things.

One thing does occur to me: only when I learn contentment in silence will I be sure of the right things to say at the right time.

Clean House for Kids

A friend of mine asked recently how I keep the house clean and manage to homeschool with six kids at home. The first part of the answer is that I clean my house, but I don't keep the house clean. After being a mother for more than ten years I've come to realize that, just like most things, managing a house full of children must be approached seasonally. So I take the long view of things.

The reality is that there is something out of place most of the time with moments of nearly perfect cleanliness every now and then. There are some ways to make a tidy house more of a possibility even with kids running around messing things up.

1. Declutter. You knew I was going to say it. Its impossible to realistically clean a room with 5,000 stuffed animals in it. Decluttering your space leads to decluttering your mind and your life. Keep your home simple, especially bedrooms. If an item doesn't have a home, it belongs in the trash. Don't just make war on your kid's spaces, be an honest person and lead by example.

2. Clean Daily. Make a realistic cleaning schedule that includes all members of the family. Keep kid's chores simple and able to be completed in a matter of minutes. Remember that before the age of 8 or so your little "helpers" aren't so helpful. Start with a training phase. Show them how to do it, and leave them to it. Don't loiter and hang around to make sure they clean the toilet correctly. Come and check when they are done, give some praise and some pointers. Keep in mind the last time you were the new guy and be kind. Keep the chore list consistent. Changing things up every day or week will only complicate things and frustrate the kids. I give my kids a month with a certain chore so they have sufficient time to master it and become familiar with the level of clean we are going for.

3. Clean Weekly. Honestly, after the kids clean their bedrooms on Saturday morning, I give them the rest of the day off. Saturday is the day I actually clean all the spaces they tackled during the week (bathrooms, kitchen floor, playroom cleanup). That way we start Sunday out righteously with a genuinely clean house.

In our house we take our studies by storm and are usually done before noon. Short, sweet, and to the point is how we roll. We change pace over the summer to make more time for outside play, but we don't stop altogether. I find this schedule to make the happiest children and saves my summertime sanity. I don't have a particular time of day for chores, just as long as they are completed by dinner.

No day goes off without a hitch, and my chore list is everlasting, but making daily decisions based on the big picture helps me to enjoy life so much more. People matter infinitely more than things and that includes having a clean house. The whole point of any of this is to train up bright, responsible, good-hearted, hardworking adults. The house doesn't matter, but for them.

Forgiveness and the Postpartum Time

Its been almost five months since my little Una was born. I've been taking this postpartum experience more purposefully this time. Its important to me to live life full force, but that doesn't always lead me down the path that is best for each member of my family.

Just like a good childhood is in fact moments of joy and not constant joy, I am realizing that just about every journey rides out with the same rise and fall. People, children included, who try to experience constant pleasure find only unhappiness and discontentment.

So, I'm applying that knowledge to myself as I work day in and out to order my home, finances, fitness, diet, childrearing, and all. Its 80% hard work and consistency and 20% joy (with an extra 5% elation with a new baby).

The efforts all follow the same graph line: you win some, you lose some. People say in the postpartum time, "be kind to yourself", "forgive yourself", "love yourself".  I am fairly certain that it all means the same thing; failure is a crucial part of the journey. Without failure there can be no forgiveness, no rise from the ashes, no transformation.  One can find comfort in this, but its only the beginning. Forgiveness must be asked for and a transforming rise from the ashes, while romantic, takes a great deal of sacrifice and hard work. You must take the muscles to fatigue and failure, creating little tares, in order to rest and rebuild and come back stronger.

I am slowly and successfully working my body back into shape. My goal is to be better than I was before baby number six, and better than I was yesterday. The word to describe my efforts is cycle. Each day, week, and life, is full of seasons. Remembering this brings me peace in the midst of a hectic household, and even informs the food I choose to eat and the exercise I do to reach my goals.

If rest is needed, I rest. If the children need my full attention, I give it. If the house needs a good cleaning, its time to put the books away and clean. No day is perfect, but tomorrow is always a second chance.