Defining Self-Awareness

What is self-awareness?

Self-awareness is the ability to rationally acknowledge, assess, and understand the inner, private self.

"... a conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires." -Oxford Dictionary.

Self-awareness is the foundation which needs to be laid in order for you to make habit changes, behavior changes, and to develop self-efficacy and self-control.

Public self-awareness of is when you are aware of (or think you are aware of) how you appear to others. It is the urge you feel to be accepted and approved of by your tribe and community. It is a natural and functional awareness, and necessary for your own survival in society.

In its correct place, public self-awareness should be of secondary importance to your private self-awareness. When making decisions and judgements, what you believe and know about yourself is far more important than what you believe and know about what others think.

Self-awareness is not the same thing as self-consciousness. When people talk about “self-consciousness” they are commonly referring to an overdeveloped sense of public self-awareness. Those who rely disproportionately on the fluid and unscrupulous public or popular opinion tend to develop a controlling, and sometimes debilitating, sense of being watched, judged, and found unacceptable in some way by their tribe.

“To ‘know thyself’ is a warning to pay no attention to the multitude.” -The Suda-

If you desire to make changes in your life, the best place to start is within yourself.

Start by making a list of your strengths and weaknesses. This forces you to confess your shortcomings and also view, perhaps for the first time, all that you have to offer. Look back over the last few years. Which accomplishments are you most proud of? What values and beliefs about yourself do your answers reflect?

Mirror photo by Ali Marel on Unsplash

Crowd photo by José Martín Ramírez C on Unsplash

How Parents Can Live in the Moment

People say all the time to “live in the moment.” I can’t tell you how

many older parents have said to me, “enjoy them while they are

young; the little years are over so quickly.” I have to admit, my

frazzled brain secretly scoffs when I hear this well intentioned

advice.

I’m in the trenches. Most days I don’t even look in the mirror much less

pause to appreciate all of the little blessings or smell the roses.

On the other hand, I know they are right. Along my fitness

journey I’ve experienced and benefited

from this same truth. The destination means nothing without the

quality of life achieved by the journey. If you think about it,

living is the only point in goal setting.

I want to see this better in my role as mother. My kids are much

better people than me. They are more honest, more forgiving, and

more trusting. They have so much to offer me

and the outside world. It is just really hard to see and hear it among

the din of laughter over butts and poop and farting.

 I think the key is to determine what my reigning beliefs about child

rearing are and keep those beliefs always in the front of my mind.

I need to have parenting goals that I am trying to reach in relation

to understanding my children and showing appreciation of their

individual strengths.

“To journey happily may be better even than achieving the desired destination.”

Jordan Peterson

Angus is seven. He is the most affectionate human being I’ve ever met.

He is a high energy fellow, but not in explosive power as much as in

endurance. He has a fire in him that I love and admire so much. He

will grow up to be a powerhouse worker and friend. He is intelligent

and driven and we are constantly reminding him of

“stranger danger”. He is just too friendly. Unfortunately, his brothers

don’t really appreciate this power like I do. Angus annoys and pesters

a lot of people.

Angus knows how to live “in the moment.” He loves people without

reservation, he expects the best of them. He is not easily burned or

beaten. He is quick to laugh and quick to hug it out. Angus lives fully

in every moment.

I think living in the moment and enjoying the journey comes down to

gratitude and mindfulness. I need to slow down and just watch them

play and work, and look in their eyes when they ask for my attention.

I need to play games with them and work alongside of them.

Living in the moment is less about snapping pictures and taking cute

videos and more about nourishing the bonds with your kids that you

can’t exactly see, only see the signs of.

How can you savor the little years when
the kids are the most needy and the little troubles grate constantly
on your psyche? The answer is to fully accept the challenge of
parenthood by realizing that the only way the future carries any hope
with it is when you see every trial, every challenge as just as important
as the the destination.