Sunday, June 7, 2015

Mothers and the Sexual Icon Disorder

I've got a little problem. I think it may be a problem that many, if not most, women have in common. We seem to be viewing our level of sexual appeal as the determining factor for how valuable we are as human beings. In this whore-ific Kardashian kulture, its not difficult to see where this type of thinking will lead us.

 Don't get me wrong. All women want to be desirable, especially to their spouses. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it is exactly right. We were made that way, and it is good. The problem arises when our priorities become disordered and we begin to think that if we are not sexy then we are somehow letting others down, that we aren't trying hard enough. The social atmosphere around us seems to be saying that to be sexy and desirable is the highest state women can achieve. One need not look any further than the women who are celebrated these days for proof of our society's "high" standard for females. Of course some know better, but I find it challenging from time to time, to remember that I am worth so much more than how I look.

 This struggle never hits me harder than during pregnancy and the postpartum months. Not only are my capabilities compromised, but I LOOK like I've been compromised. I watch helplessly as all of the hard work I put into building muscle and burning fat disappear. My daughter is just a few short years away from puberty, and I don't ever want her to wonder what is so great about her. I don't want her to think that if she shows a little more leg or wears a tighter shirt that people (boys) will like her better. I want her to enter adulthood with a strong sense of who she is and what God expects of her. I want her to view herself through the lens of her dignity and self-respect.

 I turn 31 at the end of June and I have decided to declare war on my own traces of this disordered point of view. I have decided to go the next year, six months pregnant and six months postpartum, without makeup. I only wear makeup one or two days a week, so this is not much of a sacrifice. But every time I see bad skin and circles under my eyes I am going to remember that all of the sacrifices and efforts I make to maintain a healthy diet, daily exercise, getting enough sleep, and taking time to rest, is for the sake of my health not so I can look attractive according to other people.

Lest you be concerned for my marriage, my husband travels a lot for work. When he is home he only notices if I put makeup on if my doing so makes us late for church. His loving attention has never faltered whether I weighed 130 or 180 (nine months pregnant). He is constant, and he doesn't care. And lets be clear, I take showering and shaving very seriously. This isn't a hippy boycott. Its a good old fashioned fast.

I am not saying that everyone should join me in this. But I will issue a challenge. Be good to yourself and realize that you are so much more than the way you look. Work for good health so you can be a better mother, a more lively lover, full of self-respect, and happier with who and what you are becoming. Don't get discouraged when you don't see progress on the scale or in the mirror. Becoming healthier is a lifetime pursuit. Don't dishonor yourself by striving to meet someone else's standard (insert comment about waist training here). Yes, our sexuality is our primary power over men, and I would encourage all women to keep their urge to use it under control and in its place. It's place is very low on the list of virtues and amazing female capabilities that make us useful and valuable human beings.




Friday, May 29, 2015

Creating Order Through Habits




     "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence      then, is not an act, but a habit." Aristotle 



Lately I find myself waiting for many things. Waiting to hear back from a new job, waiting to hear back about a new house, waiting for others to get their act together. I hate waiting. Most of the time there is no other choice but to wait. So I try to do it well.

When things are out of my control it is easier to be patient when I have something productive to focus on. So I prioritize my morning routine with the intent to start every day off on the right foot. One might say I've found a small area of my life that I do have control over. Once 7 am arrives then the household is awake and my time is no longer my own.  I make a plan every few days which will be accomplished in my little garage gym, and I really look forward to it… most of the time.

Every now and then I can feel my mental grip on my fitness drive slipping. Today I just didn't want to go out there. I've been at this long enough to know that when my motivation wains it means something is off with me and it shouldn't be ignored. If I am loosing the desire to workout it usually means I should step back and rest or reassess. If I am willing to stop and do something different for one or two days all of my desire to keep going on with fitness surges back. I never allow myself to pause for more than two days. I am confident of this because I've got habits. Habits are what keep me afloat when my will and determination are down the drain.

When I"m trying to form new habits or maintaining current ones when life gets tough, there are some things I consider.

    "Plans are worthless, but planning is everything." Dwight D. Eisenhower 


Goal setting- dream big. They say to reach for the stars, and so you should.

Quota setting- don't become overwhelmed by your big goals. Set every-day mini-quotas that keep you on the path to your big goals. If you want to start daily meditation or prayer, don't start with an hour as your quota, but two minutes or five minutes. The most difficult part of beginning a new habit is actually beginning.

Avoid fantasizing about the results. This is distracting from the task at hand and is actually detrimental to the process of achieving results. Instead, visualize the process. Eventually it becomes essential to your success that your habit becomes its own reward. Your habits are not the path that lead you to a better life, they are your better life.

Prepare for stumbling blocks- Remember that set-backs and restarting are a major part of developing new habits. Self-blame is counter-productive. Beware of the "abandon ship" mentality. It is very powerful and should be prepared for. People that believe they have blown their diet are twice as likely to overeat as a result than those who were never on a diet. Don't allow minor set-backs to be a habit killer.

"If this… Then that…"- find your triggers. When your willpower is weakening and your motivation is slowing, ask yourself "why?" The answer is often very simple. Your alarm goes off and you remember your workout clothes are still in the dryer in the basement and so you roll over and go back to sleep. If clothing is the issue, make sure to have them cleaned and on your bedside table when you wake. I've been known to sleep in my workout clothes…"If I feel too sore to lift weights tomorrow, then I'll do deep stretches and ab work instead."

Add a chink to the chain- You already have many habits that get you through your day. If remembering to take your vitamins in the morning are an issue for you, keep them beside your toothbrush in the bathroom and take them before you brush every morning. Utilize the chain of your existing routines to build a new habit.

Eliminate your choices- Too many choices are demotivating. One or two food choices for breakfast and lunch and a few more for dinner to keep things interesting. Willpower works like a muscle, if your life is full of mundane decision making then when it comes to making big decisions your will can actually become weakened. What you wear is very mundane in comparison to decisions concerning family, health, and business. Don't wear yourself out mulling over petty things. Likewise, with practice and care you can strengthen your willpower.

Good habits require constant commitment- Sorry to say, the 21 day rule for forming a habit is a sham.*  There is no fixed time to master a new habit. There are phases for sure. In the beginning you feel bulletproof and empowered. Then reality and the difficulty of self-discipline sets in. You realize that its going to be a fight if you desire your habits to become second nature to you.

Finish what you start- Its called the Ziegarnik Effect. Psychwiki says its, "Interruptions that cause a person to fall behind in their objective also cause anxiety that brings constant thoughts of unfinished business." So basically, when you leave your tasks unfinished or break promises that you've made to yourself, you carry those failures around with you until you return to your task and complete it. I don't need that extra stress, and I've got a lot of unfinished projects and goals. I experience each unfinished task as a form of failure.

Not all of these things are helpful to me at this time in my life. But I look ahead and know that I will have to adjust to physical weakness and compromise as my pregnancy progresses, and see that we'll have a new baby by New Years and life will never be the same.  Getting back into the swing of life after giving birth is a unique challenge. I will be returning to these tips myself throughout the next year for sure.

"For lasting change, the steps you take must ultimately change your environment and schedule."  Gregory Ciotti

I accept that in the end the only person I can control is myself. So I will bend my private attention towards the goals of loving rituals, honing routines, respecting schedules, and keeping a wary eye on those things that trigger bad habits in myself. Consistency through discipline is the only way to get from point A to point B.


http://www.forbes.com/sites/jasonselk/2013/04/15/habit-formation-the-21-day-myth/

Monday, May 25, 2015

The Natural Transformation




Pregnancy is the perfect time to consider the nature of change, development, and transformation. Pregnancy is very hard on our bodies. Our challenges can range from discomfort to blinding pain, and at its close we rend ourselves to bring new life into the world. The suffering of pregnancy and delivery can transform us if we choose to allow it. Hardship can cultivate fortitude and wisdom, and brings depth to our inner selves. But we have to choose that transformation.

Nature inspires me. Human gestation and development is one of the lengthiest of all mammals. Its one of the most beautiful and most remarkable occurrences on our planet, and yet we wish it would happen quickly. All growth, birth, and re-birth in nature is a slow process. When nature chooses to act swiftly it is violent and destructive.

And here we are considering our own selves after having given birth,  longing for transformation again yet not allowing the time and endurance that we know true change requires. The key to lasting transformation is time and consistency. You can make changes to your body with diet and exercise in three months, but if you aren't careful of yourself, you must accept the damage and destruction that is bound to accompany swift alteration. There is no special timing. Every body is different. But nature demands that to accomplish lasting change one seek the balance of stress and nurturing, and push consistently forward.

Finally, I am considering what a transformation is. I must accept that as I change and evolve, I remain myself. I won't turn into my ideal because I am following the great length of natural development. This metamorphosis produces a better me.

Each time we give birth we have the opportunity for our own re-birth. We have another chance to connect to the natural process of renewal. For evolution to be real, we've got to give ourselves the time to put down roots; to nurture our bodies first to heal, then to rebuild. We are very much a part of nature, and our bodies operate within the same order. Don't rush your transformation, welcome nature's quiet advance by allowing yourself time and dedicating yourself to being consistent.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Good, Better, Best- Navigating Through Nutrition

I am not a nutritionist or a health professional, and there are so many diets out there it makes my head spin. Each one seems to be claiming to be the diet that is best for the human body, builds the most muscle, or burns the most fat. Can it really be that difficult to figure out?

If you are eating with a purpose, what you eat depends very much on your goals and desires. A runner's diet is probably going to be 70% carbohydrates and a body builder's 50% protein. There is the vegetarian crew who say humans weren't created to eat meat and the paleo crew who say meat is a part of our primal nature. Vegetarians can be strong and healthy, meat eaters can be strong and healthy and so it goes on.

 What all reasonable diets have in common is portion control. You might be eating the healthiest food available, but if you are eating too much, your body becomes overtaxed, and it shows.

  If you're going to get in on this debate, you've got to be sure you know what a calorie actually is. The dictionary says,"a quantity of food capable of producing such an amount of energy." OK, so calories are basically energy. But as you may have heard calories are not created equal. Which means you shouldn't forget about them, but you should be focusing on nutrients, what actually feeds your body. 

 I think most health professionals would agree that Americans need to greatly reduce their consumption of diary and meat, not to mention processed sugars and chemically laden foods. I would agree. Lets not forget the record high rate of heart disease and obesity. Its very important to know, when you are trying to serve healthy food, what are the caloric and nutritional needs of the members of your family. For example, does Dad have a manual job? Is Mom pregnant or nursing? Is anyone trying to lose fat or build muscle? Do your kids play sports? What are the energy needs and how do you supply them in a healthy way?

All of this is useful but if you are like me, on a budget with a big family to feed, buying and serving healthy food can be a serious challenge. No matter where you are at, eating a plant-based diet is a must for good health. For me this pyramid works, but I would add in some whole grains for energy and fun.  



 We all do the best we can under the circumstances. We are not trying to lose fat or gain muscle in our house at the moment, so we are very much in the middle of the road. A good diet for us would be whole grain breads, plenty of non-organic produce, oats, whole grain rice, low fat non-organic diary (not fat free), one or two meals of chicken per week, a night of turkey, a night of eggs, and a dinner with fish in it. A good diet does not include any fast-food or prepackaged meals. I've been known to go through a drive through a few times a year, or buy frozen meatballs for a party, and I love soda now and then. But we don't make a habit of these foods. It takes more work in the kitchen and more planning and looking ahead to make a good diet work for a family. A good place to start is to figure out what you don't need to be eating and clean out your kitchen cabinets. 

 If there were a Whole Foods or a Trader Joe's closer than a hundred miles from my house and my food budget were much bigger I would eat a much healthier diet. I'd buy organic produce, high quality meats, and organic diary, eggs, and fish. I'd mostly shop the perimeter of the store, and go nuts with foods which are as close to their natural state as possible. I'd still stick to clean staples of beans, chicken, potatoes, rice and green veggies, but the food itself would be delivering so many more nutrients to my family. If your budget would allow a few organic items, I'd shoot for organic animal products. If you have specific fitness or weight loss goals, its important that you find out what nutrients you should be consuming.  

But I'm keeping my eye on the prize. What is best for your health and mine is to grow our own food. I just said that. We should take control of what food is available to us and gain a higher level of independence. Most people are very far away from being able to do that, myself included. But I'm not letting the hugeness of it stop me from planning, dreaming, and working for what is best. Until I get to my own small farm, I can buy local produce in season and learn to be patient. Buying produce in season brings the best possible nutrients to your table. The only way for us to be content with this more natural way of eating is to ditch our love affair with variety and convenience. No, you probably won't be eating pineapple and avocados in December or ever, unless you live in the tropics. But when you taste apples in Virginia in the Autumn, you will forget all about pineapples, believe me. Whenever we give nature a chance she blows our socks off. 


Predictably a good diet is average, a better and healthier diet requires more money and convenience, and the best diet is the most difficult to achieve and the most rewarding. We don't have to wait until everything is just right to have a part of what is best. We can do a little. We can plant herbs in pots if we don't have garden space or plant tomatoes in the backyard.  


One size does not fit all. But their are some key principles when it comes to nutrition that can apply to everyone. Adhere to the serving size standard, eat a plant based diet, know how much energy you actually need for your lifestyle, and minimize your consumption of fast foods from the grocery store or from the restaurant. Don't get discouraged when the status quo is not ideal. Be thankful for the food on your table and keep working for what is best.  









Friday, May 22, 2015

Making Peace with Good Enough

This weekend we've got our five kids plus two nephews. That's six boys under age nine in a 1400 square foot house, in case you were wondering. Thankfully we've got an amazing five acres of woods, and I sent them all outside early. They'll hopefully stay out until lunch. The din of their chatter and the click, click, clicking of their toy guns might send me over the edge. I had to iron some things out within myself when they were too excited to finish their dinners, too excited to fall asleep, and too excited to stay quiet until the mandatory 7 am wake up call this morning.

As I made whole wheat cinnamon rolls for the kids and a gallon of coffee for myself this morning, I felt a little guilty serving a sugary breakfast to them and even worse that I planned on eating some of the homemade treat, myself.

Then it all came together.

Spirited children are good, whole wheat is good, children learning to control a weapon and control themselves is good. They've slept, eaten, and now they'll spend their day in the great outdoors. Its all very good.

I struggle with relinquishing control of my kids. I want for them what I think is best. Its best that children don't make a nuisance of themselves, that they eat healthy foods, learn to finish what food they've been given, sleep when I say to sleep and rise when I say to rise.  But what I've come to realize is that I can't always force a child to be what I think they should be. I've got to learn to acknowledge the good and encourage my children to want what is best. I say, "I won't force you to sleep or to pray, but what I will do is train you to lay quietly without talking when it comes time to sleep, and kneel when your family kneels. So I train for good habits of obedience, and pray they will grow to want what is best instead of settling for what is not bad.

Training my own mind and the habits that flow out of it has become quite a theme in my life. Almost every time I am having an issue with another person, I look in the mirror and find that its actually myself that needs adjusted.

My diet isn't going to be perfectly healthy. Sometimes there actually isn't time to work out. I used to run myself ragged thinking that ideally the house would be tidy most of the time, and some of the time it wouldn't be. What is actually good is that, with kids, the house is messy most of the time and their are lovely moments of cleanliness.

So I keep my eyes on what I believe perfection is for myself and my home. And I plan and create an order that is always seeking for what is best. But for the sake of peace, joy, harmony, reason, and growth I've got to make friends with what is not bad. A home that loves the good yet works for what is best is an ideal atmosphere for everyone. Its a balance that we must strike within our private persons and in the office of motherhood.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Managing Motherhood Stress

We've all heard the phrase "saying it doesn't make it so."  If you don't act, your words are without meaning.

When we agree to become mothers we are not making a one-time decision. Its an agreement we must confirm every day, every moment. With each night-waking, we reestablish our commitment to motherhood. With each cheerful sacrifice you make to be the best mother you can be you are saying, "I will it" again. We are given so many opportunities to reaffirm our faith and our commitment to our families.

Staying strong and healthy is one of the best ways we can show our lasting agreement to shepherd our children and carry the keys to our homes. But I believe most mothers don't realize that integrating rest,  quiet, and respite into their lives is more important than including a fitness regimen. When we allow stress to command our positions of mothers and wives, we are failing in our mission. To allow stress to rule you is a great injustice and cause of much injury to yourself and thus to your family.
We often feel as though the pace of our lives is so fast that we can't catch a breath. Consider these tips.

Mother, put yourself on a sleep schedule. Be just as disciplined about sleep as you are about your daily exercise. Create a bedtime routine for yourself by turning off the electronics, showering, praying or deep breathing. Go to sleep at the same time every night and rise at the same time in the morning. Even on the weekends.

Mother, be quiet. God speaks in silence. I know that silence is almost a joke when you've got little ones running around sounding cacophonies of train whistles, banshees, or big guns of WWII. Don't use the din as an excuse or a reason to complain. Discipline yourself to rise earlier and spend 10 minutes in wakeful silence. Meditate, pray, breath, go outside and listen.

Mother, laugh. Laughter releases muscular and psychological tension. Watch a comedy. Phone a funny friend. Honestly, sit down and play with your kids. Kids are hilarious!

Mother, hop into the sack. You heard me. Sex can do wonders for building your self-confidence, re-connecting with your spouse, and can adjust your focus back onto the things that really matter, your people.

Mother, clean your space. You know what I'm talking about. Cleaning your space can feel like cleaning your mind. You are removing stress from your brain. I've experienced this phenomenon even with a small space, like my desk. Throw stuff away. Donate stuff. Even burn stuff if it helps. Get rid of all the extra junk that you don't need. Start with a small space like the top of the fridge, or your kitchen pantry.  It works.

Mothers, plan to succeed. If you know something is coming that will cause you to alter your usual behaviors and cause you stress (visitors, family road trip, holidays, a move to a new house etc.) plan on how you will deal with it. Know yourself and find what helps you to decompress.

From the moment we bow our heads in surrender to become mothers we are committing to a lifetime of sorrow and joy, pain and elation. The burden of carrying our children doesn't stop after we bring them into the world. Its an agreement to carry them forever. You have to decide every day to give yourself to someone else. That is why we nourish our bodies properly, we stay active, and we manage our stress levels; because we know that is what is best for our families. You have to reaffirm your commitment to them daily by giving them your best.

Monday, May 18, 2015

My Excuse-Free Home Gym


You are welcome to view my broke-down, no-excuse garage gym.

This guy is not welcome.

I've got an old cut of carpet and a $20 mat to muffle the sounds. Everything here was acquired slowly and inexpensively. I've gotten the most use out of my dear orange kettle bell.
I just raided my brother's damp garage gym. There were literally cobwebs on his equipment, and he said to take what I wanted. So I just picked these beauties up.

They are old and not well cared for, but a little rust never hurt anyone, and they were free, and they go nicely with the spiders and cobwebs in my own garage. I'm chill like that.


 There is always gear and expensive equipment that I yearn for. Right now we live rurally and I can't travel 55 miles to the closest gym. Most of the time I'm on a pretty tight budget anyway and couldn't afford a membership. I'm here to tell you that you don't need a cent to get into shape. I've got a lot less than a lot of people, but I am convinced that becoming fit is all about your mindset. Do you have a set of stairs? A chair? Then all you lack is knowledge of how to use these things to achieve your goals (its called YouTube). There are unlimited possibilities with only body weight exercises and calisthenics.

I'm no pioneer Pudgy Stockton (look her up), but I'd love to see more mothers of large families picking up a barbell or learning what a kettle bell can do for them. The list of benefits range from strengthening bone and joint and muscle to building confidence and bringing order to every day life. With a little iron and determination you can potentially beat anxiety, depression, back pain, neck pain, organ prolapse, and a lousy sex life. Whats not to love?

Sunday, May 17, 2015

First Trimester of my Sixth Pregnancy

Baby Six is now the size of an olive. He has a heartbeat and is making me sick. Don't hate, but I never throw up with my pregnancies. The nausea and dizziness is something to be reckoned with, though. Every time I'm laid out in the bed the other kids get nervous. They willingly bring me crusts of bread when requested and offer to rub my back (no, don't touch me).

I no longer want salad, which has been my go-to for healthy food for the last six months. I want lots of meat and cereal, not together.

There have already been so many times in the last few weeks when I've asked myself why I planned on bothering to eat healthfully and workout every morning during this pregnancy. I picture how rotten life can seem when I'm pregnant and imagine adding sweaty workouts and green food. Right now that sounds like the worst things I can think of.

Really though, pregnancy is nothing compared with the first three months postpartum. Running around with kids and schedules and housework with no sleep and an infant hooked up to you pretending like you didn't just have your undercarriage blown open. That is the hardest part of pregnancy for me, the fourth trimester, as they call it. In that memory is where I get my answer.  That is why I am going to go the extra mile during the first three trimesters, to be stronger and faster and more capable when everyone needs me most.

I picture myself in a hospital room after delivery feeling burnt out. In the past, I've been there and remember thinking, "I wonder how long they'll let me stay." The prospect of the impending adjustments at home was so daunting. I want  to be as ready as I can to take life on after the new baby arrives. There are plenty of studies that show that mothers who stay active and nourish themselves well during pregnancy recover more quickly. I've seen other moms do it and I plan to do it, all in the name of giving my family the very best of myself. Losing the fat quickly and beating baby blues postpartum doesn't hurt either…

Pregnancy is so temporary. I've got this.
 

Thursday, May 14, 2015

How to Give Birth to a Man

In ancient Sparta women enjoyed a great deal more status and privilege than other Greek women of the time, and more than most women in history have never known. The Spartan women were known for their speed, agility, strength, sobriety, and wisdom.  

"Why are you Spartan women the only ones who can rule men?"  an Athenian women is reported by Plutarch to have asked Gorgo, Queen of Sparta. To which she replied, "because we are also the only ones who give birth to men." 

In my experience some fathers have tendencies in the way they parent that are at once irritating, difficult to understand, and highly effective. They command respect and obedience from the children. Most woman watch from afar and wonder why their kids walk all over them.

 Raising children is not easy. There is no rule book to help when we don't know the next step. What was it that Spartan mothers knew and that some men seem  to know that make their boys manly and their daughters strong and capable? I have a theory.  Mothers, lets take a page from history and a page from some father's natural disposition.  

Practice what you preach. You must become the person you want your children to become. Who doesn't want their child to be hardworking, honest, productive, self-assured, and courageous? Mother, become all these things and train your children from a stronghold of honesty. Spartan woman lived demanding lives and were expected to stay fit, healthy, and to guard their homes with ferocity. They raised their children to follow their lead and to excel. Say what you mean. Don't manipulate or lie to your children. They will cease to have trust in you. 

Lay the law. Love the law.  Mother's are notorious for judging on a case by case bases instead of adhering to the law they have created. Stand your ground. If you said "no" then to go back on your word is essentially breaking your own law.Think of the rebellion and disrespect that would ensue if the government broke their own laws (no comment). When you make the law in your home, consider carefully. Is the law just? Does it work for everyone? Laws shouldn't be made on whims and selfish fancies or by one lawmaker. Down to its last detail it must never be bent or broken.  The punishments must be effective, swift, and final. It is imperative that when the punishment has been dealt that mothers don't hold a grudge. Justice says that payment has been made. Let it go. Women enjoyed freedom in Sparta because of the law that governed the land; within adherence to the law is freedom and the opportunity to thrive and grow. If you don't follow the rules, then no one can play the game.

Suck it up buttercup. Life isn't fair. Self-pity is like a disease. It creeps in each time you decide to weep into your tea because you "don't deserve this," or "it shouldn't be this way." You might not deserve bad treatment, and things might not be right, but don't give in to being a victim. Take a hold of yourself, your life, and the way you are going to handle the next injustice. You can't control others. You many not be in control of your environment. All you can do is control is yourself. If you fail to do that, nature says others will control it for you. Self-pity plagues you with a weak mind, selfish ambitions, makes you bitter and lifeless, and people hate being around you. Teach your kids to watch out for self-pity and live life aggressively. It might be the best gift you've ever given them.  

We don't live in a society like Sparta. But human excellence hasn't changed. In fact we've built upon the traits they valued in Sparta. Mothers keep your eye on your goals to raise honorable men and women. Don't tolerate second-rate habits in yourselves or in your children. Love your children, nurture them, and show them the world 's best side. But equip them with a strong character to battle the darkness in themselves before they face the battles being fought in the world. 





  

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Four Secrets To The Fit Life

My alarm goes off at 6 am most mornings. I answer the call to sweat and strain because I must. The call is from my deep self and I cannot resist. Fitness has become a part of me. It has become my tool, my door, my lifeline.

Since my adolescence I've been swimming upwards trying constantly to break the surface of my own sea of self deprecation. I'd look in the mirror at the cellulite and see weakness, at the stretch marks and see failure.

But in the past few years I have started to see the light. It started with running. First, I struggled to reach a pre-determined three mile mark. Then I signed up for a 10k (about 6 miles). I trained for it, ran it, and fell in love.  I'm in love with movement, with action, with completing my tasks, with working, sweating, and with victory.

Fitness has been my vessel and has shown me my own strength and given me faith in my own abilities. I move iron now, and sprint, and jump, and struggle. I pull and push. I believe that a strong character is the golden ticket to building a strong body and living a fit life.

Struggle is the secret to tasting the divine in ourselves and in God. We come to a fuller understanding of ourselves when we strive for perfection. We break our muscles and our personal records and our best time, in order to recover and rise up to the next level. Without struggle our spirits stagnate. With prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude, our great effort can take us to incredible heights. Don't be afraid to strive for perfection.

Prudence: If you are prudent will be able to judge an action or workout properly regarding intensity, timing and the amount of rest needed in order to improve and to move forward. You will learn, you will never stop learning.

Justice: If you are just you will judge fairly yourself and others, giving yourself credit when it is due and seeing room for improvement without despairing. Justice enables us to prioritize the elements in our lives. It allows us to love our spouses and children in a fair, well ordered, and beautiful way and keeps us from putting ourselves first in our relationships. It teaches us about self-sacrifice, the greatest love of all.

Temperance: being temperate brings balance to your diet and your training. You learn to say "no" to yourself and to others. When you practice temperance in yourself, overindulgence in unhealthy food and over training cease to become a problem.

Fortitude: Fortitude is courage. It's the ability to stand up in the face of adversity, fear, uncertainty, and intimidation. It is endurance in hardship; the will to keep going because you must. Without fortitude your life will be languid, bitter and empty.

You hear people say that pain is good. I say struggle is good. It is nature's secret way of raising us up to be better than our old selves.

Each morning I rise to chase the pain, to combat the weakness, the sadness, and the foolishness in myself. I look at myself in the mirror. I see lines, marks, and signs of my struggles and I am proud and determind. No one can know my journey like I do. I ask myself each morning, "What are you going to do to strengthen and build your body and your mind today?"

My fit lifestyle is my divine struggle to bring my will into submission in order to bring myself to life.