"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." Aristotle
Lately I find myself waiting for many things. Waiting to hear back from a new job, waiting to hear back about a new house, waiting for others to get their act together. I hate waiting. Most of the time there is no other choice but to wait. So I try to do it well.
When things are out of my control it is easier to be patient when I have something productive to focus on. So I prioritize my morning routine with the intent to start every day off on the right foot. One might say I've found a small area of my life that I do have control over. Once 7 am arrives then the household is awake and my time is no longer my own. I make a plan every few days which will be accomplished in my little garage gym, and I really look forward to it… most of the time.
Every now and then I can feel my mental grip on my fitness drive slipping. Today I just didn't want to go out there. I've been at this long enough to know that when my motivation wains it means something is off with me and it shouldn't be ignored. If I am loosing the desire to workout it usually means I should step back and rest or reassess. If I am willing to stop and do something different for one or two days all of my desire to keep going on with fitness surges back. I never allow myself to pause for more than two days. I am confident of this because I've got habits. Habits are what keep me afloat when my will and determination are down the drain.
When I"m trying to form new habits or maintaining current ones when life gets tough, there are some things I consider.
"Plans are worthless, but planning is everything." Dwight D. Eisenhower
Goal setting- dream big. They say to reach for the stars, and so you should.
Quota setting- don't become overwhelmed by your big goals. Set every-day mini-quotas that keep you on the path to your big goals. If you want to start daily meditation or prayer, don't start with an hour as your quota, but two minutes or five minutes. The most difficult part of beginning a new habit is actually beginning.
Avoid fantasizing about the results. This is distracting from the task at hand and is actually detrimental to the process of achieving results. Instead, visualize the process. Eventually it becomes essential to your success that your habit becomes its own reward. Your habits are not the path that lead you to a better life, they are your better life.
Prepare for stumbling blocks- Remember that set-backs and restarting are a major part of developing new habits. Self-blame is counter-productive. Beware of the "abandon ship" mentality. It is very powerful and should be prepared for. People that believe they have blown their diet are twice as likely to overeat as a result than those who were never on a diet. Don't allow minor set-backs to be a habit killer.
"If this… Then that…"- find your triggers. When your willpower is weakening and your motivation is slowing, ask yourself "why?" The answer is often very simple. Your alarm goes off and you remember your workout clothes are still in the dryer in the basement and so you roll over and go back to sleep. If clothing is the issue, make sure to have them cleaned and on your bedside table when you wake. I've been known to sleep in my workout clothes…"If I feel too sore to lift weights tomorrow, then I'll do deep stretches and ab work instead."
Add a chink to the chain- You already have many habits that get you through your day. If remembering to take your vitamins in the morning are an issue for you, keep them beside your toothbrush in the bathroom and take them before you brush every morning. Utilize the chain of your existing routines to build a new habit.
Eliminate your choices- Too many choices are demotivating. One or two food choices for breakfast and lunch and a few more for dinner to keep things interesting. Willpower works like a muscle, if your life is full of mundane decision making then when it comes to making big decisions your will can actually become weakened. What you wear is very mundane in comparison to decisions concerning family, health, and business. Don't wear yourself out mulling over petty things. Likewise, with practice and care you can strengthen your willpower.
Good habits require constant commitment- Sorry to say, the 21 day rule for forming a habit is a sham.* There is no fixed time to master a new habit. There are phases for sure. In the beginning you feel bulletproof and empowered. Then reality and the difficulty of self-discipline sets in. You realize that its going to be a fight if you desire your habits to become second nature to you.
Finish what you start- Its called the Ziegarnik Effect. Psychwiki says its, "Interruptions that cause a person to fall behind in their objective also cause anxiety that brings constant thoughts of unfinished business." So basically, when you leave your tasks unfinished or break promises that you've made to yourself, you carry those failures around with you until you return to your task and complete it. I don't need that extra stress, and I've got a lot of unfinished projects and goals. I experience each unfinished task as a form of failure.
Not all of these things are helpful to me at this time in my life. But I look ahead and know that I will have to adjust to physical weakness and compromise as my pregnancy progresses, and see that we'll have a new baby by New Years and life will never be the same. Getting back into the swing of life after giving birth is a unique challenge. I will be returning to these tips myself throughout the next year for sure.
"For lasting change, the steps you take must ultimately change your environment and schedule." Gregory Ciotti
I accept that in the end the only person I can control is myself. So I will bend my private attention towards the goals of loving rituals, honing routines, respecting schedules, and keeping a wary eye on those things that trigger bad habits in myself. Consistency through discipline is the only way to get from point A to point B.
* http://www.forbes.com/sites/jasonselk/2013/04/15/habit-formation-the-21-day-myth/
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