"Why are you Spartan women the only ones who can rule men?" an Athenian women is reported by Plutarch to have asked Gorgo, Queen of Sparta. To which she replied, "because we are also the only ones who give birth to men."
In my experience some fathers have tendencies in the way they parent that are at once irritating, difficult to understand, and highly effective. They command respect and obedience from the children. Most woman watch from afar and wonder why their kids walk all over them.
Raising children is not easy. There is no rule book to help when we don't know the next step. What was it that Spartan mothers knew and that some men seem to know that make their boys manly and their daughters strong and capable? I have a theory. Mothers, lets take a page from history and a page from some father's natural disposition.
Practice what you preach. You must become the person you want your children to become. Who doesn't want their child to be hardworking, honest, productive, self-assured, and courageous? Mother, become all these things and train your children from a stronghold of honesty. Spartan woman lived demanding lives and were expected to stay fit, healthy, and to guard their homes with ferocity. They raised their children to follow their lead and to excel. Say what you mean. Don't manipulate or lie to your children. They will cease to have trust in you.
Lay the law. Love the law. Mother's are notorious for judging on a case by case bases instead of adhering to the law they have created. Stand your ground. If you said "no" then to go back on your word is essentially breaking your own law.Think of the rebellion and disrespect that would ensue if the government broke their own laws (no comment). When you make the law in your home, consider carefully. Is the law just? Does it work for everyone? Laws shouldn't be made on whims and selfish fancies or by one lawmaker. Down to its last detail it must never be bent or broken. The punishments must be effective, swift, and final. It is imperative that when the punishment has been dealt that mothers don't hold a grudge. Justice says that payment has been made. Let it go. Women enjoyed freedom in Sparta because of the law that governed the land; within adherence to the law is freedom and the opportunity to thrive and grow. If you don't follow the rules, then no one can play the game.
Suck it up buttercup. Life isn't fair. Self-pity is like a disease. It creeps in each time you decide to weep into your tea because you "don't deserve this," or "it shouldn't be this way." You might not deserve bad treatment, and things might not be right, but don't give in to being a victim. Take a hold of yourself, your life, and the way you are going to handle the next injustice. You can't control others. You many not be in control of your environment. All you can do is control is yourself. If you fail to do that, nature says others will control it for you. Self-pity plagues you with a weak mind, selfish ambitions, makes you bitter and lifeless, and people hate being around you. Teach your kids to watch out for self-pity and live life aggressively. It might be the best gift you've ever given them.
We don't live in a society like Sparta. But human excellence hasn't changed. In fact we've built upon the traits they valued in Sparta. Mothers keep your eye on your goals to raise honorable men and women. Don't tolerate second-rate habits in yourselves or in your children. Love your children, nurture them, and show them the world 's best side. But equip them with a strong character to battle the darkness in themselves before they face the battles being fought in the world.
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