Forgiveness and the Postpartum Time

Its been almost five months since my little Una was born. I've been taking this postpartum experience more purposefully this time. Its important to me to live life full force, but that doesn't always lead me down the path that is best for each member of my family.

Just like a good childhood is in fact moments of joy and not constant joy, I am realizing that just about every journey rides out with the same rise and fall. People, children included, who try to experience constant pleasure find only unhappiness and discontentment.

So, I'm applying that knowledge to myself as I work day in and out to order my home, finances, fitness, diet, childrearing, and all. Its 80% hard work and consistency and 20% joy (with an extra 5% elation with a new baby).

The efforts all follow the same graph line: you win some, you lose some. People say in the postpartum time, "be kind to yourself", "forgive yourself", "love yourself".  I am fairly certain that it all means the same thing; failure is a crucial part of the journey. Without failure there can be no forgiveness, no rise from the ashes, no transformation.  One can find comfort in this, but its only the beginning. Forgiveness must be asked for and a transforming rise from the ashes, while romantic, takes a great deal of sacrifice and hard work. You must take the muscles to fatigue and failure, creating little tares, in order to rest and rebuild and come back stronger.

I am slowly and successfully working my body back into shape. My goal is to be better than I was before baby number six, and better than I was yesterday. The word to describe my efforts is cycle. Each day, week, and life, is full of seasons. Remembering this brings me peace in the midst of a hectic household, and even informs the food I choose to eat and the exercise I do to reach my goals.

If rest is needed, I rest. If the children need my full attention, I give it. If the house needs a good cleaning, its time to put the books away and clean. No day is perfect, but tomorrow is always a second chance.