Flexing the Willpower Muscle

You may have heard of willpower, or self control, being like a muscle. The more you exercise willpower, the more more control you can exert over it and the stronger it becomes.

Willpower is a very interesting thing. Where does it come from? Can it, like a muscle, run out of fuel? Are some people naturally better than others at controlling themselves in the face of temptation?

Studies show that glucose is actually the fuel on which willpower depends. According to The Society for Personality and Social Psychology, “blood glucose is one important part of the energy source of self control. Acts of self control deplete relatively large amounts of glucose.” This is called “ego depletion,” and it is a real thing.

So, you can run out of energy to withstand temptation. But here is the kicker. Studies also show that those who believe they won’t run out of energy to withstand temptation actually show no signs of ego depletion.

By you simply believing that you have the fortitude to resist temptation, your body responds by reserving its energy for the demand. Essentially, those who believe they have the ability to resist temptation have a greater chance of success than those who believe they will run out of strength. You can actually choose to overcome the negative effects of ego depletion.

Willpower is the ability to resist short-term gratification to achieve long-term goals.

Willpower is the product of a complex multi-system network. It isn’t an isolated thing where you can shut your eyes and hope for the best in the face of temptation. You must know yourself to overcome. Be honest about your weaknesses and take responsibility in order to be prepared.

Understand that there are vital physiological necessities that override self control every time, like sleep, food, or the energy needed to tread water. Think about it. Even though death is the potential consequence for falling asleep behind the wheel of a car, humans still do it because they fail to plan ahead and take care of other vital aspects of their bodies and minds.

The Association for Psychological Science says, “Coping with stress, regulating negative affect, and resisting temptation, require self control, and after such efforts, subsequent attempts at self control are more likely to fail. Continuous self control efforts, such as vigilance, also degrade over time.” (I can't help but think of motherhood here)

By getting adequate, quality sleep, and managing your stress levels you are strengthening your abilities to resist pleasurable impulses in order to meet your long-term goals.

Learn to set goals realistically. If you are trying to quit smoking, don’t assume you can go to your same old haunts with your friends who all smoke, and resist lighting up with them. If you’re a recovering alcoholic, don’t go to a bar. If you are addicted to sugar, don’t bake sweets in your kitchen. Common sense, but easier said than done.Try narrowing your goals. If you want to quit smoking, drinking, lose weight, and get in shape, you’d best tackle one thing at a time. Refine your expectations. Plan ahead, in detail. Become a master of flexibility by developing straightforward “If-Then” plans. If I go to a party where there is alcohol, then I’ll bring my own drinks. If they are smoking, then I’ll chew gum. If grandma is baking, then I’ll eat before I go over.

The world of neuroscience describes the human as having one brain, but two minds- hot and cold. The cold mind is one of conscious choice, reflection, and control. The hot mind is reactionary, operates out of habit, passions, instinct, and impulse. These two different “minds” originate from different parts of the brain and operate on different neural circuits. Being “hot” is easy, feels comfortable, and natural. Hormones are the first responders when you chose to turn off the cool reflection and turn on the hot reflexes. Primary effort should be given to “cool” your mind by changing your perspective on that which you wish to resist.

Distancing is a technique first suggested by Dr. Walter Mischel. If you’re interested in reading more about willpower, check out his book called “The Marshmallow Test”. Dr. Mischel suggests, in the face of temptation, imagining the tempting object at a far distance. See it as something that pulls you away from the good things you are trying to achieve. Essentially, re-frame that which you are trying to avoid and label it as something distasteful to you.

Some people are naturally “cooler” than others, and it is easier for them to utilize their more calculated mind. But many studies show that both children and adults can learn mental distancing and cooling techniques to strengthen their willpower.

“Many feel at the mercy of their own thoughts, emotions, and cravings, their lives dictated by impulses rather than conscious choices.” (American Psychological Association)

It is important that we understand that the road to our long-term goals is a series of ups and downs. When you fail, you feel bad and put yourself through a gauntlet of guilt, shame, hopelessness, and loss of control. To comfort yourself you, often subconsciously, turn to the closest thing for relief. Much of the time that thing is what got you into this cycle in the first place. And you go around and around.

Change your perspective on failure. Don’t label yourself when you relapse. Understand that this is the path, and stand up again. Be ready for the predictable “what-the-hell” response that tells you that you’ve already screwed up, so why not enjoy yourself on the way down. Tripping up is actually an important part of the process. Chaos and mess demand that you bring a little more creativity to your efforts. The fruit of mishap is a finer, sharper, more superior result.

In your efforts to reach long-term goals it is essential that you believe you have the strength necessary to resist immediate gratification. You must get to know yourself, be honest about your weaknesses, and treat yourself like a friend with encouragement and forgiveness. Be full of purpose as you refine your essential sleep routine and daily stress-management habits. Set yourself up for success by narrowing your focus on long-term goal setting. Avoid temptation and have “If-Then” plans in place. Practice cooling the hot conditions of your environment by distancing yourself, mentally or actually, from those things that draw you away from your goals. Change your perspective on the things you want to resist by labeling or picturing them as being in conflict with you and your future.

You are not at the mercy of your circumstances, emotions, or desires. You are responsible for your choices, and there are effective tools and techniques you can use to strengthen your willpower, achieve your goals, and improve the quality of your life.

DonutPhoto by Bethany Newman on Unsplash 

Road Photo by Matt Duncan on Unsplash

Man Photo by Craig Whitehead on Unsplash 

Boy Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Fitness and Time Managment

Fitness and Time Management

12 Tips for Making Time for Fitness

It is challenging for everyone to develop a workout regimen, but it is especially difficult for busy people. And who isn’t busy?

Since school began in September I’ve been running around like a chicken, with every free moment filled and I can tell you, without balance, on a crazy chicken schedule I can only last so long. I look at my daily list and think, “something has got to go.” But what will it be?

The number one reason people give for failing to maintain a workout habit is time. “I just don’t have time.” I propose that the lack of time for healthy habits is either straight up not accurate, or that you’ve got other stuff in your schedule that needs to go (TV watching, ehem.)

Here are some tips for resetting priorities to help change your perspective so you can forget your excuses once and for all.

1. The number one way to adopt the healthy habits you’re after is planning. What you plan will depend on your goals. Take a few minutes to plan the whole day. Look at your calendar on Sunday night and make an account for every hour in the coming week. This may sound extreme, but if you’re losing hours every day and you need to find time, this is the ticket. Keep account of what you’re up to. If you must keep your date with Netflix, but it on the schedule. If you want an extra 15 to savor your coffee and do nothing, put it on the schedule. Do everything on purpose. I guarantee you’ll find all of those missing moments. I’ve really loved scheduling in time to focus on each of my kids. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing. I seek that one lucky kid out and we talk and play for 10 minutes. The benefits of scheduling are far more than you realize. And, of course, schedule your workouts.
2. Know what you want, set realistic, time-bound goals (How Set Goals) . Review your goals daily, keeping them at the forefront of your mind.
3. Workout in the morning. This is a tough one for a lot of people, and especially moms that are up at all hours with kids during the night. I’ve never successfully had a morning routine when I’ve been nursing a baby at night. Others have had more success during the young baby stage. Once my sleep is of good quality, I love to rise very early and get stuff done. I work, read, and workout, before the kids get up for school. I couldn’t put a price on how it changes my perspective of the coming day. Beginning the morning habit starts the night before. Dinner must be at or before six so clean-up, homework, baths, and kid’s bedtime can happen. Most nights I get to bed early because it's the only way to begin the next day right.
4. Break your workouts up throughout the day. Cumulative workouts count, but you still need to plan them if you intend to progress, physically. Know what you’re going to do and stay on your toes. Sometimes a surprise free 20 minutes will present itself and you need to be ready to seize the time to get that workout it. Body weight exercises are best for this type of hit or miss schedule. All you need is a bit of space for squats, push ups, or planks. Soccer practice, playing at the park, folding laundry, or kid’s nap time are just a sample of places and times when mom’s find themselves standing around or scrolling through Instagram instead of taking control of their fitness. Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready.
5. Meal prep. The American Journal of Preventative Medicine suggests that having little time to cook is one of the main reasons that people turn to fast and boxed foods. I look wistfully at some people having a “prep” day over the weekend and making pre-measured, healthy, personal foods to keep them on track. With so many people to prepare meals for I’ve always found that type of food preparation to be unreasonable for me. That isn’t to say that it is impractical for every parent. Parents of larger families may consider using the blessed slow-cooker for meal prep, pre-boil eggs for snacking, breakfast on-the-go, or lunches, wash and prepare lots of veggies for snacks, salads, soups, and lunches, bake a ton of chicken over the weekend for snacks, soups, salads, and lunches. You may also consider choosing your family’s seven favorite dinners and making them every week. This takes the guesswork out of meal-planning. And guess what, kids love to know what to expect. I am pretty sure people growing tired of the same foods is a myth. Keep it stupid-simple. The payoff is healthy meals, stress-free cooking, peace of mind knowing that you are making the meals that your family actually likes, having a dependable shopping list, and a predictable, reliable family-approved menu.
6. Delegate some daily tasks to free up an hour to workout. This will look different for every family, but it could be asking your spouse to drop the kids at school or sports practice, compelling kids to do some housework, or even get someone else to make dinner. You might have to crack some heads together, but you’ve got to fight for what you need.
7. Declutter. No one can think straight in a cluttered, messy space. Take one corner at a time and throw out all the junk. Believe me, even if you think you might need it later, the point is you don’t need it right now, and the price for keeping it is too high. Gain clarity, organization, and a certain amount of freedom by cleaning up your space. I am not exaggerating.
8. Ensure your workout is something you love. Studies show that enjoying your workout is vital to achieving consistency in a new fitness regimen. As you move past the six-month mark of established fitness habits, joy still plays a part, but ideally you begin to receive fulfillment from the increasing challenge itself.
9. Choose efficient exercises. When time is not on your side, intensity must be. If you’ve got a good, smart plan and are willing to push yourself for a short amount of time, you needn’t spend an hour in the gym (or wherever you workout). High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) will give you the biggest bang for your buck. The heart-rate goes up, a short rest, then up again, and so on for twenty or thirty minutes and you’re done.
10. Learn to say “no” to extra things that are not a high priority to you or your family. You really don’t have the extra time. If you’re good about tip number one, you’ll know just how much time you are working with.
11. Look for extra ways to get moving. This isn’t a part of a fitness regimen, per se, but it will help you and your family achieve fitness and other health goals. A family walk instead of sitting around in the living room after dinner, a friendly push up or pull up competition, a game of soccer or baseball on the weekend, are great ideas for making fitness a daily habit and a family affair.
12. Probably the most obvious way to make time to form a workout habit is to trade screen time for workout time. Enough said.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, most of the time, time itself isn’t actually the issue preventing us from sticking to a fitness program. It is important for us to own our secret mental barriers to leading a healthier lifestyle. Lack of motivation, lack of enjoyment, fear of failure or fear of getting hurt, low-self esteem, past negative experiences with fitness, etc. We all share some of these barriers, but they will never be overcome unless we are honest with ourselves. Imagine yourself in 10 years, and consider what is more painful, the process of improving your quality of life or being in the same shape or worse.

Change your mind. You are in charge of your schedule. At the end, you will be the only one answering for your actions. Look ahead and adopt a DIY attitude. Don’t waste your time blaming your past failures on others, stand firmly for yourself and take responsibility for your future. As cliche as it sounds, you got this.

Family Health and Social Bonds

"Training gives us an outlet for suppressed energies created by stress, and thus tones the spirit just as exercise conditions the body." Arnold Schwarzenegger

There is no doubt about it, our social bonds can make or break us from a very early age. Acknowledging this is especially important when we are trying to make healthy changes in our lives.

I recently started a mom’s workout group that meets once a week at a park. Same day, same time, (almost) no matter the weather. As the kids play, we perform the same 20 minute workout and then spend the rest of the time chatting. This “class” serves a number of purposes that not all the members are even aware of. One of the most impactful forces on building a healthy lifestyle is the support of friends and family.

When trying to form healthy new habits of exercise, those who have the support of family, friends, and community are much more likely to succeed at their goals. There is a strong correlation between childhood activity and adulthood activity. Basically, what you do, your kids will most likely do. And how active a child is when they are young is a precursor to their level of activity when they grow up.

Active video games and interactive TV shows are very popular now as our society attempts to combat the childhood obesity epidemic in the US. But one blaring issue I see, that doesn’t seem to be widely addressed, is the fact that the modern family bonds are weak and distracted and children and adults alike, feel alone and isolated. I believe a great solution to this problem lies in physical activity that involves the whole family.

According to Standford University's Abert Bandurra, "Self-efficacy is a person's beliefs about their capabilities." Those with strong self-efficacy believe they are capable of desired achievements. One of the greatest benefits to whole-family fitness is the incredible effect that family support has on self-esteem and self-efficacy for the individual members. Professor Jeffrey J. Martin from Wayne State University, surmises that young people who develop self-efficacy through their engagement in sports activity are likely to transfer their strong belief in their abilities to their activities of daily living. In other words, those who engage in and enjoy physical sports activities are highly likely to transfer their acquired skills and habits, like stamina, teamwork, personal responsibility, and time-management, to other areas of their lives.

Even more vital is the effect that regular and enjoyable physical activity can have on the mental health of individual family members. The American Psychological Association (APA) reports that serious consideration should be made of physical activity as a treatment to such maladies as anxiety and depression. A connection should also be noted between strong social bonds and mental health. It would be a mistake to ignore the powerful correlation between quality relationships and the health of the mind and therefore the body. The devastating effects of loneliness can bring deterioration of the body and the soul.

"A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

The APA also theorizes that physical activity in a rich social environment greatly increases self-efficacy and revitalization among the participants. Social connections and strong family bonds are very powerful motivators for people of all ages. And the lack of support is equally deflating and discouraging.

There are many ways to get moving with the family from playing tag in the yard, to taking hikes on Saturday mornings. Getting and staying fit with the whole family strengthens the family bonds that our whole society is built upon and increases the mental and physical health of each individual member.

As life gets increasingly busier it is easy to forget that your friends and family are integral to your health and well-being. The most effective communities are those in which the members take personal responsibility in building trust and mutual respect. There is no better way to strengthen social and familial bonds than to engage in regular, enjoyable, physical activity together.

"Remember that bodiliy exercise, when it is well-ordered, as I have said, is also prayer by means of which you can please God, our Lord." St. Ignatius

Rules of Effective Goal-Setting

A few weeks ago I decided that my afternoon workouts were lacking. There is so much distraction in this house, and while I usually don’t mind, it was cutting into how long and how hard I was able to work. So I came up with a few small fitness goals, and began to plan. I decided to add an extra, quick, 15 workout in the early morning before the kids woke up.

When you set goals, not matter what size, there are a few principles that make your success more likely to happen.

They need to be specific; “I want to be able to do 50 push ups” instead of “I want to do more push ups.” Start with the big picture, your macro goal, and proceed to set intermediate and micro goals. When you’re through, you’ll know what needs to be done tomorrow for you to reach your goal next year.

Your goals need to be measurable. If you keep your goals performance related instead of outcome related, you will be able to keep account of where you started from and receive encouragement along the way by reviewing your progress “so far”. View and modify as you progress, to keep you moving forward.

For beginners, the biggest factor for failure when it comes to fitness is setting goals that are unrealistic. I can’t expect to do 50 push ups today if I could only do 20 yesterday. Week one was 10 push ups, 25 half push ups, then 15 more push ups. I still did 50, but I took into account my current abilities without berating myself for not being where I wanted to be. Once you’ve achieved a few victories, challenge yourself. Become okay with being uncomfortable. Failures at the outside can damper your motivation, but failure once you’ve got some faith in yourself, is just another stepping stone. Set realistic goals and increase the challenge gradually to make progress a little at a time. Be patient.

It is very fulfilling to work hard for the people you love. But for your goals to be relevant, they must contain a strong element of being important to you. Be honest with yourself and answer whether your goals are issues you would choose for yourself. If you don’t have the freedom to change what you are being asked to accomplish, try to find an aspect of the task that you can make your own. Setting goals and accomplishing tasks rarely gets an A+ unless you “own” the task and make it yours.

Keep each phase of your plans under some kind of time restraint. Make your macro, intermediate, and micro goals time-bound so you don’t get stuck on your micro goals for a year. It's important to give yourself the necessary time to accomplish each task; be generous. It will take me 8 weeks to go from 20 to 50 push ups, but my slow progression doesn’t come with side-effects like sore muscles, stress, or time-consuming weight sessions. I am confident that I will reach my goals, and when I get there I’ll set new goals because, to be successful, one must never settle. There is always another mountain to climb.

There are many aspects of our lives that we may want to improve but don’t know how to begin. Consider areas of your life that need to be upgraded:

1. Relationships
2. Professional
3. Fitness
4. Financial
5. Health
6. Artistic

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that other people have had overnight success. Everything we do leads us to the moment we are in. There is no such thing as quick success.

“The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make an important battle decision. That's the time to listen to every fear you can imagine! When you have collected all the facts and fears and made your decision, turn off all your fears and go ahead!”  George C. Patton

Define your fears, game-plan possible outcomes, and prepare to defy the barriers that may keep you from reaching your goals.

What are these actions going to cost you? What is the cost of staying where you are? Keep in mind that almost no problems are solved in comfortable situations.

Keep your plans to yourself. Telling your plans to others brings a social satisfaction that you simply have not earned yet, and it tends to take the life out of your motivation.

In conversations such as this, no one will have the answers for you, and your failure will be no one else’s fault. You say go, and the outcome is on you. You're the boss, stop laying blame outside of yourself.   

The only real value is found in the journey. Crossing a finish line or reaching the peak of the mountain would have no value if the journey, itself, wasn’t arduous and difficult.

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” Seneca

Categorize the things you cannot control and the things you can. Put the issues that are out of your control out of your mind and focus only on those things you, yourself, can influence.

Everyone has dreams and visions of things they think they want to accomplish. The line that divides us is the ability to set effective and coherent goals, and the will to pursue them to the end.