Fiat Family Fitness: Flexing the Willpower Muscle

You may have heard of willpower, or self control, being like a muscle. The more you exercise willpower, the more more control you can exert over it and the stronger it becomes.

Willpower is a very interesting thing. Where does it come from? Can it, like a muscle, run out of fuel? Are some people naturally better than others at controlling themselves in the face of temptation?

Studies show that glucose is actually the fuel on which willpower depends. According to The Society for Personality and Social Psychology, “blood glucose is one important part of the energy source of self control. Acts of self control deplete relatively large amounts of glucose.” This is called “ego depletion,” and it is a real thing.

So, you can run out of energy to withstand temptation. But here is the kicker. Studies also show that those who believe they won’t run out of energy to withstand temptation actually show no signs of ego depletion.

By you simply believing that you have the fortitude to resist temptation, your body responds by reserving its energy for the demand. Essentially, those who believe they have the ability to resist temptation have a greater chance of success than those who believe they will run out of strength. You can actually choose to overcome the negative effects of ego depletion.

Willpower is the ability to resist short-term gratification to achieve long-term goals.

Willpower is the product of a complex multi-system network. It isn’t an isolated thing where you can shut your eyes and hope for the best in the face of temptation. You must know yourself to overcome. Be honest about your weaknesses and take responsibility in order to be prepared.

Understand that there are vital physiological necessities that override self control every time, like sleep, food, or the energy needed to tread water. Think about it. Even though death is the potential consequence for falling asleep behind the wheel of a car, humans still do it because they fail to plan ahead and take care of other vital aspects of their bodies and minds.

The Association for Psychological Science says, “Coping with stress, regulating negative affect, and resisting temptation, require self control, and after such efforts, subsequent attempts at self control are more likely to fail. Continuous self control efforts, such as vigilance, also degrade over time.” (I can't help but think of motherhood here)

By getting adequate, quality sleep, and managing your stress levels you are strengthening your abilities to resist pleasurable impulses in order to meet your long-term goals.

Learn to set goals realistically. If you are trying to quit smoking, don’t assume you can go to your same old haunts with your friends who all smoke, and resist lighting up with them. If you’re a recovering alcoholic, don’t go to a bar. If you are addicted to sugar, don’t bake sweets in your kitchen. Common sense, but easier said than done.Try narrowing your goals. If you want to quit smoking, drinking, lose weight, and get in shape, you’d best tackle one thing at a time. Refine your expectations. Plan ahead, in detail. Become a master of flexibility by developing straightforward “If-Then” plans. If I go to a party where there is alcohol, then I’ll bring my own drinks. If they are smoking, then I’ll chew gum. If grandma is baking, then I’ll eat before I go over.

The world of neuroscience describes the human as having one brain, but two minds- hot and cold. The cold mind is one of conscious choice, reflection, and control. The hot mind is reactionary, operates out of habit, passions, instinct, and impulse. These two different “minds” originate from different parts of the brain and operate on different neural circuits. Being “hot” is easy, feels comfortable, and natural. Hormones are the first responders when you chose to turn off the cool reflection and turn on the hot reflexes. Primary effort should be given to “cool” your mind by changing your perspective on that which you wish to resist.

Distancing is a technique first suggested by Dr. Walter Mischel. If you’re interested in reading more about willpower, check out his book called “The Marshmallow Test”. Dr. Mischel suggests, in the face of temptation, imagining the tempting object at a far distance. See it as something that pulls you away from the good things you are trying to achieve. Essentially, re-frame that which you are trying to avoid and label it as something distasteful to you.

Some people are naturally “cooler” than others, and it is easier for them to utilize their more calculated mind. But many studies show that both children and adults can learn mental distancing and cooling techniques to strengthen their willpower.

“Many feel at the mercy of their own thoughts, emotions, and cravings, their lives dictated by impulses rather than conscious choices.” (American Psychological Association)

It is important that we understand that the road to our long-term goals is a series of ups and downs. When you fail, you feel bad and put yourself through a gauntlet of guilt, shame, hopelessness, and loss of control. To comfort yourself you, often subconsciously, turn to the closest thing for relief. Much of the time that thing is what got you into this cycle in the first place. And you go around and around.

Change your perspective on failure. Don’t label yourself when you relapse. Understand that this is the path, and stand up again. Be ready for the predictable “what-the-hell” response that tells you that you’ve already screwed up, so why not enjoy yourself on the way down. Tripping up is actually an important part of the process. Chaos and mess demand that you bring a little more creativity to your efforts. The fruit of mishap is a finer, sharper, more superior result.

In your efforts to reach long-term goals it is essential that you believe you have the strength necessary to resist immediate gratification. You must get to know yourself, be honest about your weaknesses, and treat yourself like a friend with encouragement and forgiveness. Be full of purpose as you refine your essential sleep routine and daily stress-management habits. Set yourself up for success by narrowing your focus on long-term goal setting. Avoid temptation and have “If-Then” plans in place. Practice cooling the hot conditions of your environment by distancing yourself, mentally or actually, from those things that draw you away from your goals. Change your perspective on the things you want to resist by labeling or picturing them as being in conflict with you and your future.

You are not at the mercy of your circumstances, emotions, or desires. You are responsible for your choices, and there are effective tools and techniques you can use to strengthen your willpower, achieve your goals, and improve the quality of your life.